,, Okee, keep me posted about the ride tonight,'' I text my climbing friend. Three of my climbing friends are going to Berdorf and I need a ride to that place because I want to join a friend. My intuition said I can join the ride, but my ego need a clear 'yes'. Untill that time it's a maybe. But in case it's a yes I packed everything. I haven't told my friend yet I'm coming as I told him that morning I wouldn't make it.
I'm truying to visualize the whole day how he would react when I do come. Like hello of course the universe helped me out again. You know I have this special deal with the universe: it always helps me out when I truly want something.. ' Every half an hour I'm checking on my phone for news. ,,Yes you can ride with us to Berdorf, will see you in 30 minutes!'' my friend text me. Bam yes, I knew it! I felt it! Shall I text him.. Noo.. that will ruin the surprise...
Men are the most strange and yet the most amazing creatures in this world.
Climbing gear
Driving with the four of us in one car full of climbing gear made me feel like I was sixteen again. We talked for hours and of course most of the time it went about boys. I’m almost 40, but still it’s my favourite topic to talk about and I don’t think that will ever change. I mean, they are the most strange and yet the most amazing creatures in this world. Can’t live with them, but also can’t live without them. Let’s put it like that.
'So who is this friend you are joining?' my friend asks me curiously. ,,Oh well, he is just a friend.'' She gives me the look. ''Really, just a friend?'' You know, yes okee he is totally handsome. ,,I knew it!'' Ha, I feel even more sixteen. ,,So, does he know you are coming? Do you know on what camping he is?'' Yes, yes I know. I will surprise him. ''Are you sure that's a good idea? I think you should text him.'' I know this is the universe speaking via her mounth.
Okee this was not the reaction I hoped for.
I text him: ,,hey, within half an hour I will also be on the camping. I got a ride, so I can join!'' He text me back: ,,You are kiddin right? You don't even know where I am.'' Okee this was not the reaction I hoped for. I thought more of a reaction like: ''Ow wow cool Chantal, you are so awesome. So cool you can join!'' My friends are asking me: ,,So what is he saying?'' Oh uhm well.. he is surprised, let's put it like that.
Tent
So where are you? I text back to him. ''At camping Belle-vue.'' My heart jumps as it is the same camping my friends are on. So it's perfect. Thank you universe for arranging this. ''Normally I'm on another camping, but it was full. Are you really coming?'' he asks for the second time. Yes, yes. I feel so much excitement again. I text him: ,,do you have a tent?'' He: ''Yes, but I don't have space for you.'' I can feel his panic. ,,No worries, I can stay at the campspace of my friends. I only need a tent...'' I text him back.
After half an hour we enter the campsite and guess what, my friends place is like 20 meters from my friend. Life is so easy when you trust it. Just when I walk towards his place we bump against eachother in the dark. It's totally awkward when we meet. But I can see he is a bit more relaxed. The other people who are with him are looking at me like I'm a ghost.
''Okee, so you know how to put on this tent right?'' Yes I think so, it's dark, but I can make it. No help needed, thanks! To be honest I would love to sleep next to him, but of course I don't dare saying that. Okee bye, see you tomorrow! ''We go away at 8.00 o'clock., so if you would like to join...'' Oh 8, right, yes ofcourse. No worries! I say with a smile. 8 o'clock sharp. Will be there freshly showered and with lot's of energy..
Thunder
I walk away with his tent underneath my arms.. 8 o'clock.. why is he always.. well nevermind... As quick as I can I put on the tent without using the outside layer so I can look at the stars. In the middle of the night I wake up because of thunder. It's pretty cool seeing it, but I'm afraid it will start to rain. Then I will be completely wet. But it doesn't start raining and at 6 I wake up allready and decide to take a lovely warm shower so I will be fresh and exciting. Ow gosh I need coffee, lot's of coffee...
And I need my girls to get tips and tricks how to get this man on my side.. but they are still sleeping. I'm so so looking forward to show them this guy. They will totally understand why I needed that ride.. So after more than an hour running and climbing in the woods I'm totally exhausted, but feeling more alive then ever. Ow how I needed this after weeks being on my little garden and writing and writing. ''So where are your friends, can I meet them?''my friend asks. I jump out of my chair: yes let's do that! Or uhm maybe he will fall in love with them.. arghh don't think of that.. the universe is always listening...
Mister handsome
,,Well girls, this is... '' 6 eyes are lightning up when he enters our campside. I immideately can see on their looks that they totally defined him as 'super hot'. One of them gives me her grand smile. Can't help but giggling. After a little chat, two guys are entering. One of them is a climbing friend that I haven't seen for a long time. The other guy looks at me and I can immiddeately see what he is thinking. Okee this is going to be interesting.
,,Hi, my name is Chantal.'' I shake his hand and then his attention goes immidetely to my friend. He looks at him with big eyes. Oh maybe I was wrong.. maybe he likes guys.. ''Hey I have seen you before!'' Well that's quite an easy sentence to open a conversation I think by myself. But then my friend remembers him as well and they start talking and talking about outdoor adventures as they both are totally into that and into surviveling. I can see him picturing me on his survival parcours.. Definately will not do that..
I don't think I will find a outdoor man this way, he will be like: girl you can't even put up a tent in a normal way...
Then my friend looks at the tent he borrowed me. 'Chantal are you kidding me?'' I know what he means. I have put on the tent so nasty it makes me laugh everytime I look at it. Don't know why I did that to be honest. Normally I'm totally into putting my tent super nice. ,,I think it was because of the dark..'' I say. '' Well I don't think I will find a outdoor man this way, he will be like: girl you can't even put up a tent in a normal way...'' Or he can be in his masculien role and show you how to do it in the right way'' my friend says. ''Have you ever tried dating online?''
,,Yes, many moons ago, but to be honest I don't need dating apps. Somehow man allways find me in reallife.'' (didn't know the universe was listening again..) ''Hmm I think dating apps definately can work.'' Well yes when you are into having sex... ''No, no. I'm sure you can find your dream girl or man on it.'' I feel lot's of frustration. Yes, or you can just look at who'm is standing nextt to you instead of looking at your phone, I want to retored. Offcourse I don't dare saying that.
Cup of coffee
The one who does dare saying that is the tall survival outdoor guy. On sunday morning when I come back from the shower he grabs his chance as I'm all on my own. ,,Hey how are you?'' I can immideately feel what is going to happen, but I don't show anything. ,,Good, good, I just had a lovely shower and soon I will be playing in the woods with the whole group.'' That sounds so so cool. So tell me what kind of things do you do...'I look at him, he is really handsome, tall, mascular, friendly, adventurious and probably way younger then I am. Then after 5 minutes of casual talk there is this question: ,,Would you like to have a coffee with me somethime..?''
Ow damn why did I said I didn't needed a dating app... I give him a smile..''Well actually no, sorry. I'm just.. single and like it that way and there is this guy.. I really really like him...'' Ow okee, sure. But just one coffee? ,,No, thank you..'' I feel like I want to run away as I really don't know what to see anymore.. Okee bye, I have to go now the group is waiting for me, I say.. which is a total lie.. ,,Ow yes ofcourse, well enjoy. Maybe will see you later then.'' Uhh yes, okee.
Date
A bit confused I walk towards my friend. I see him bending forwards truying to make his back less sore. I kick his ass.. ''Well good morning..'' He looks at me. I want to kiss him, but instead of doing that I tell him about what just happened. ''I was asked on a date.'' Really? By whom?'' my friend asks. ''The tall, masculin guy.'' Oh he, but he is nice! Have you said yes? ,,No, ofcourse not!'' But why not...? Well because.. you know.. I try to find the right words... ''I don't think he is my type.'' My friend looks at me. ''How can you know? He is adventurious. You should give him a chance.''
For a second I think he is right and then I look at him.. Nope, will not give him a chance as his name is not MM. Luckely the others are waking up so we can change the subject. After having coffee we again go into the beautifull woods of Berdorf. Wish I could do this every day. What a life would that be. I feel so so much more alive here and have way more energy. Don't need anything but playing outdoors, a good cup of coffee and a nice campfire. Ow how I love this life.
Girls weekend
It reminds me of a girls trip with Unplugged Outdoor, called Bergmeid weekend. Also in the Ardennen. I joined the group with my analog camera shooting pictures for this amazing outdoor company that I knew via NatuurlijkSportief. To be honest I felt a bit resistance upfront being with only girls that I didn’t knew. I was afraid it would be this super cheesy girls weekend. But it helped by saying to myself I was only the photographer..
I like their concept as they dare you to put your telephone away (unplugged) and enjoy the great outdoors together. Have real connections, real conversations. You can guess what kind we had: yep about men. We laughed a lot, walked a lot, learned a lot and enjoyed a lot. It always surprises me how fast the connections go when you live together outdoors. There are litterly no walls. Sometimes I wish in real life we all live outdoors in tents, without the walls that make we are not really connected anymore. Not connected with mother nature and not connected with each other.
I think that’s why I like the outdoors so so much. I want to stay connected without using technology, but in a real life. That's also why I love analog photography. It's real, one shot, really focussing on what I do and not using any filters. It feels like real photography capturing the real world without making it more beautiful in a way commerce learned us it to be more beautiful. In my opinion we don't need it 'more beautiful', it IS beautiful. We ARE beautiful as we ARE. Mother Nature is beautiful as she IS.
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