‘’So how did you walked that easy in the mountains,’’ the mountaineer ask the pretty young girl that is one of the group we are with for the whole weekend. ,,Well I just didn’t take anything with me, that’s my secret,’’ she answers. I feel a bit jealous. I know I brought way to many stuff with me that time in Swiss Mountains.
Declutter Actually I learned a lot from it. After that trip I started declutter my home. My stuff at home felt to heavy. I was trying to get my life back on the trails after becoming a mom, but I just couldn’t. So many times I was moving stuff to the right place in my apartment, but still I found myself feeling more and more sad. I felt exhausted and looked awful. The light in my eyes was all gone.
When my landlord told me I was too far behind with paying my rent I knew what I had to do. Sell most of my stuff and move into my little garden house. And my gosh it felt totally scary and totally blissful. I felt like a fish that finally was thrown back in the sea. I could breathe again.
I decluttered more and more. But when I started earning more money again I also started buying stuff again. And so it went up and down. Actually it was so funny watching myself seeing to try to fill a gap in myself with buying stuff. Most of that stuff where clothes as I love them. I was just trying to be someone by wearing particular clothes. But when I started to just be myself I noticed I stopped buying clothes.
It was a long road. It took me 2,5 years. And the funny thing is, since I almost don’t owe any stuff anymore I started to create more. Finally there was space in my head. And now I don’t want to have stuff anymore and that’s such a strange feeling! I know what I need: time and nature. Lots and lots of it.
I want to be surrounded by her beauty all the time. Not only looking at it, but also feel it when I’m in nature water, when I walk barefeet in my garden, when I feel the rain on my skin, when I smell the fragrance of spring entering the world. The change of colours of the trees. It fils my heart with pure joy.
For me it feels like totally stupid to not live in nature. I feel like I was a fish on land and when I started to ask for water the world told the fish it needed fancy clothes, a fancy car and some lipstick on. The fish was stupid to believe it would make her happy, would make her feel alive again.
As the little fish saw all pictures in advertisements of pretty girls wearing the same clothes and the same make-up she started to believe she really needed it. She bought even more magazines to see how she could be happy. And these days I even see woman using botox so they don't even look like themself. How on earth can you find yourself when watching in the mirrow staring at a face that isn't yours anymore?
Forrest walks
When I think of my own journey life changed when life broke me in pieces. I started to make long walks in the forrest and felt something I hadn’t felt for a long time: peacefulness and real happiness. I started thinking of the days when I went to France with my parents without having any toys, but just swimming in the lake for four weeks. Day in day out.
Making some hikes in the mountains. I felt so alive as a kid. Enjoying the time my parents finally had for me, because they also didn’t had to do anything but enjoying nature and finally had time for their kids.
Marrakesh
Last week I met a mother of a classmate of Roos. I never had seen the lady but because our daughters where playing together we had no choose to talk to each other. So I asked her randomly what she did this summer and she answered. ‘’Ow for the very first time in my life I went to the mountains. Our family lives in Marrakesh and normally we go to this crowded city in summertime, but this time we went to High Atlas and stayed in a small house and our kids where playing outside everyday and I felt so so happy. And now I feel so sad because I don’t want to live in Rotterdam anymore and running around for a job I don’t even like. You know why you never have noticed me? Because I never had time to stay at school. I was running around all the time.’’ She started crying. ‘’Why did I do that? Why was I so stupid?’’ I gave her a big hug.
,,Sorry, so what’s your story,'' she asked me. And I smiled. Well the coincidence is I sell photos of the mountains and write stories of my outdoor experiences. She wiphed away her tears. ,,No way! I get goose bumps everywhere now!’’ And actually I’m thinking of going to the High Atlas in October with Rewild. ,,You should, you should! It’s beautiful over there. And it’s not a coincidence we now meet. This is your sign! Oh gosh what am I saying. I’m not religious or anything, but I don’t believe in coincidences. It’s like…’’ I smiled. ‘’Yes, I know what it is.. Life becomes magical when you take the time paying attention to all the magic life has to offer.''
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